Disappointed

Well, there has been quite a change of events since my last post. I went to the doctor last week and she said I had an infection (dont think she really looked, but thats ok). She gave me antibiotics and I am actually 90% better now. I would be 100% because I have no more ear or throat pain but it still feels like my left ear is completely blocked and I am now getting a little worried that I am losing my hearing, as the pain is all gone and I have one more day of antibiotics and I still cant hear anything at all out of that ear.

On another note, after endless thought and consideration, Claudia and I have decided that this situation is not going to work out. The kids and I do not have the connection that she would like us to have and I think that our expectations are just too different. She expects me to be more of a creative kindergarten (English) teacher for the children and a babysitter on the side, while I was expecting to be a nanny and teach some English as well. It is just too different for me to live up to. Also, there are too many things about the children and then situation (really the "servants") that will not change and I can not deal with without being miserable.

I am extremely disappointed (not really in myself) but in the situation. Unfortunately this is something that I couldnt have known before coming so I just had to learn it on my own. I am sad to leave because the situation is actually perfect except for the children. I mean it is more than I could ask for. I have people cooking and cleaning after me, I have my own room with a balcony 3 houses from the beach and a bathroom, and then family speaks English and has been very accomodating and very nice. So that part I am sad about and I wish things would have worked out. But neither Claudia or I wanted either one of us to be unhappy.

So now we are spending the week trying to figure out who will come to the house and where I will go. I am pretty much still working the week but also trying to figure out where I am going. I havent decided yet if I will go to another family in Italy (it depends on what type of families my agency has to offer, as I now know more of what I do and dont want) or if I will come home to America and go from there (either find another aupair job in another state or get started with nursing).

So basically I have a ton of things to think about and it has been really difficult but I am happy with my decision and excited to see what I have in store for me next. I want to make this a positive experience, however I can.